Q: I missed the Hamilton Connects program on Love and Logic.

But I am interested in the information that was shared about parenting styles. Would you please explain them?

 

A: Following are descriptions of common parenting styles.

Helicopter parents:

  • believe that to love their children their lives must revolve around them;
  • hover and then rescue their children;
  • “protect” their children from anything that may come in their way; and
  • try to create the perfect world for their children where they never have to fail, struggle, feel disappointment or discomfort.

Helicopter parenting is not beneficial to children because:

  • children are unequipped for the challenges of life.
  • opportunities for children to learn were taken from them.
  • in order to grow children must learn from their mistakes.
  • in the real world no one takes care of them.

Drill Sergeant parents:

  • believe that the more they yell the more control they have;
  • constantly tell their children what to do;
  • often use words full of put-downs; and
  • believe kids should be disciplined.

Drill Sergeant parenting encourages children to:

  • become dependent on their parents for the answers;
  • fall into peer pressure more easily because they are used to being told what to do;
  • do not learn how to make decisions; and
  • become followers … as they have been taught.

Laissez Faire parents:

  • let children raise themselves;
  • believe that they should be their child’s friend; and
  • feel guilty and allow their children to run free.

Laissez Faire parenting does not work because:

  • children need rules and consequences from which to learn;
  • children are not adults and can not self-regulate; and
  • parents are parents, not friends

Consultant parents are most effective with children because they:

  • provide firm limits and guidelines;
  • have natural consequences;
  • understand the development of the child;
  • allow children to think and make decisions on their own; and
  • provide choices for their children.